10 things you should do before you break up
Relationships often end because of a variety of reasons. No one is to blame and so it’s best not to dwell on why things went wrong, but instead focus on the good times when you were together – the special moments that will always stay with you!
Sometimes you need to prioritize looking after yourself. And there are things that you can do to make it easier to supervise. You have hung out with friends, eat healthily and get plenty of sleep in order for your healing process not to be so difficult
It’s OK to feel sad after a breakup because no one wants their relationship to end but if they did then the best thing would be to focus on improving oneself rather than sitting around feeling sorry for themselves all day long!
After a break-up, many people experience waves of difficult emotions that lead to an intense feeling of rejection. It’s normal to feel relieved as well because you’re no longer tied down with one person which can be equally confusing.
You may feel as though your world is upside down and that things will never be good again. You might have less motivation or energy to do things, lose appetite, or stay restless. It could tempt you to try and get over a break-up quickly but it takes time, work, and support for this process to happen gradually with little setbacks in between the different stages of recovery.
If you are considering separation, our a list of the first 10 things to do before making any decisions.
- Is the fat lady singing?
If you are not certain that the relationship is over, seriously consider consulting with a professional to help make sense of your feelings. If however, it is over, take note of the date (your separation date will be essential for Medicare and Centrelink). Then think about what self-care measures you can implement so that looking after yourself becomes one of your top priorities during this difficult time period.
- Should I stay or should I go?
Deciding who will stay in your shared residence and who will move out is difficult. But remember, possession of the property isn’t nine-tenths of the law so make sure to consider practicalities like whether or not it would be easier for a primary caregiver to remain where their things are; if you think there’s someone one of us could move into our house with until we work something else out later on – don’t worry about that now because there’s no rush but just keep paying rent!
- Manage some time for each of you to see the kids
Children are resilient and with love and support, they will get through this just like you. No one is divorcing the kids! The kids’ best interests always be a priority when it comes to going through any disruptive change in their lives, but remember that maintaining a good relationship with both of your parents throughout all of this is important too. This way children can stay close enough to each parent so there’s less hurt on either side.
- Change your passwords
Even in the most amicable of breakups, people can have ‘brain snaps’ during this time when Christmas and New Year parties are frequented. Protect yourself by changing your PIN numbers, online banking passwords, email passwords, social media passwords, or if you’re looking to be extra careful change all of them. Make sure not to share any details with anyone that doesn’t already know about it – especially at these holiday-themed events where exes might bump into each other more often than usual!
Did you know that after a couple separates, one of the partners should notify the bank? After all, they may need to cancel their redraw facility. It’s also crucial for both parties in this situation to monitor account balances and make sure any large withdrawals require your consent or signature as well as your partner’s. And if there are joint accounts with both names on them—either agree to divide them equally or withdraw say half each! You’ll then have cash when it comes time for moving house and paying living expenses while everything is so fresh post-separation.
- Put important documents somewhere safe
After a break-up, it can be difficult to find documents and important sentimental objects like jewelry. To make this process easier for you in the future, create an emergency file folder with all of your most valuable possessions from past relationships that need to be put somewhere safe. The type of items should include: passport information; bank account numbers; children’s passports if applicable (alongside their birth certificates); marriage certificate or other proof of being partnered up legally; share certificates along with any stockbroker details so they are not lost by mistake after breaking ties permanently.
- Change your will and your superannuation payee
After you are hit by the proverbial bus tomorrow, your estate will be administered according to what is in your will. If this involves leaving everything to a spouse (if married), then it doesn’t matter if they divorce because their status does not affect who’s next of kin and beneficiary for property distribution purposes. It may come as a surprise but separation also has no effect on inheritance rights; so there should never be any confusion about where an individual belongs after death or when administering his/her assets while alive.
To avoid complications with wills, we recommend updating beneficiaries now before something happens – like being knocked overdue traffic!
- Keep a diary
In order to avoid future misunderstandings, it’s important that you keep a journal of any and all dates or events. If things don’t work out between the two of us in the future, when certain moments happened will be very relevant information for both parties involved.
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- Keep it civil
In a break-up, it’s vital to keep communication channels open even if you’re not ready for an in-person meeting. You may want to send brief messages or emails as people have been known to say things they regret when angry – and that could result in court proceedings instead of settlement! It’s also important not to vent online about how the relationship ended (especially after a few drinks) because this can lead other parties into getting involved with your disagreement without understanding both sides.
- Get advice from a professional
Friends are a great source for advice, but don’t take all their words as gospel. Everyone has an opinion to offer when it comes to divorce. They might have some horror stories in the mix (which makes them even more compelling). Listen carefully and act on anything from our family law team of experienced lawyers – these aren’t just words spoken by members of my own profession; they’re also practical because not getting good counsel at the outset could cost you both personally and financially later down the line.
We want to help you learn how to heal after a divorce so that your children can be happier.
We know the process of separating from someone is never easy, but we are here for you every step of the way!
The Family Law team at our firm can help with any separation or breakup advice.
If you need assistance on a family law issue, contact the professionals from this legal practice who specialize in helping clients deal with those kinds of issues.
Disclaimer: The content of this publication is general and for reference purposes only. It’s currently at the date of publication, but it does not constitute legal advice and should never be relied on as such. Legal advice about your specific circumstances needs to always be obtained before taking any action based on this piece!